Boudoir Myth #01: You Need to Be Your “Best Self” to Be Ready For a Photoshoot
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be better, wanting more and having goals - but it does not change that you are already enough as you are right now.
I can't tell you the number of inquiries I get that focus around this idea of being your "best self" for your session. It's always with the best intentions and is a perfectly normal way of thinking. These sessions after-all are a great way to celebrate physical or mental achievements - documenting a meaningful season or a goal reached - but in years of shooting I've noticed they are often much more impacting during the journey.
Journey Over Destination
It's too easy to take for granted the process while striving for a goal, but so much of the beauty is in what came along the way.
What did you overcome? What did you learn? Who were you and who did you become? I'm obsessed with documenting the journey because it can be forgotten and overshadowed too quickly by met (or even failed) goals.
The process is everything to me because it's ongoing. If you don't stop and recognize where you are in the constant right now, you'll miss so many opportunities for gratitude, reflection and pivoting. This life is too short to power-through or delay enjoyment until we feel deserving.
Reward Mentality
I am all for goal setting - rewards and positive reinforcement are the way that I personally strive farthest, but in my own experience having a strong reward mentality can be a slippery slope. How much importance are you putting on your success? How much of your identity is attached to it?
There may be specific rewards that come with achieving some version of success or your best, but it doesn't have to mean there is a lack of celebration or contentment in the meantime.There is a balance between dedicated, disciplined work and allowing your identity or worth to become attached to its outcome.
Practicing Rebellious Acceptance
It shouldn't feel rebellious or counterculture to love yourself regardless of your weight, age, accomplishments, failures, relationship status, etc...but whether it is blatantly thrown in our faces in advertising or as subtle messaging passed down generationally it is considered "brave" and somewhat radical to simply love yourself as you are.
Imagine not feeling a need for the newest potions and lotions or "better" clothes and faster fashion. We're sold to all day long that if we only did or had X, Y and Z then finally...finally...we may just be a little closer to being worthy...loved...accepted. We can be apart of this culture without letting it dictate or determine how we view ourselves. I dare you to practice that kind of rebellious acceptance. For yourself, for our daughters, for our friends...you don't have to be any more or less of anything to be loved, to be worthy, to be enough.
These photoshoots and experiences are just one way that I've found to really practice what I preach. I don't take photos to document perfection, but to reveal the beauty in vulnerability and the strength in unconditional self-acceptance.
We can be so unkind to ourselves while striving to be better, so I challenge you to shift. Do something to celebrate yourself when you're feeling your lowest, remind yourself that you're enough whether you succeed or fail and if you're clinging to the "after I get in better shape" mantra before doing the photoshoot you've always wanted...just book it! It will be one of the most empowering experiences of your life!
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